An open letter to my future husband

Hello my dear future husband,

There’s a saying that to have someone valuable, you have to be valuable yourself. Why am I saying this? Because as much as I want to meet you right now and get to know you more, I  will wait and let go and let God do his good work in me and he will be faithful to complete it. As much as I want to treasure you right now, I first have to treasure myself. As Queen Esther waited for one year to meet the King, she also waited from birth up to that point where she was discovered as one of the potential Queen. She was trained and prepared and one day, she met the King and they fell in love. So, right now I am still Esther and still being trained and prepared to meet you. So, Let’s trust God because his ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, let’s be patient and trust God in everything that we do.

I have been studying very hard and making sure I do my best in every course that I do, sometimes, I get distracted because my friends are in relationships right now, either married already or engaged, or already with a family and makes me think that what is wrong with me, I too have those days that makes me think that you too have those moments.

I am also focusing on my career path so that one day, it’s not just you that is working but also me, we’ll be able to work side by side in raising our family. I am looking to find a stable job so that as I rely in you, you can also rely in me. I will do my very best that both of us will have the education and skill to be able to raise a family of our own.

Sometimes, as a woman, I also have those days that I feel inadequate, I pray to God that may he send you to me now so you can comfort me through my pain and doubts and I know that you might be thinking the same as me, but I’d like you to know that God is always there for you and he loves you, he created us in his own image, so whatever anyone says, You are beautiful! Yes, you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Of course, I would have said you were handsome but the word beautiful encompass both physical and inner beauty, and whats the inside is what’s most important.

How will you know its me? The love I have for you will be built with friendship and love. I pray that as we both wait and when the time comes that God chooses to put my name on your heart, and your eyes will be is open, and that we will be both ready to meet each other.

Love, your future wife.



My dearest…

Looking up as I saw your face

Wondering what its like to taste

Those moments I treasure

As we grew closer together

Full of smiles and laughter

But one day you were gone

Far away from the place

Far away from me

But I never gave up

One day for sure

We will see each other

Even if you might go away again

One day for sure

We will see each other

Now or Forever



This poem is dedicated to all those who have someone dear to them, say and show that you love them for you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Thank you to Aunt Connie C. whom I love and inspired me for this poem. RIP Aunt Connie  – Rosette





Just the way you are

I keep catching a glimpse of myself

On the windows, glass doors, mirrors

What more must I do

To make myself look worthwhile


I keep going back and forth

On the hallways and corridors

I keep putting makeup

On my face, cheeks and lips

I keep straightening my hair

Even though its almost burnt to crisp

What more must I do

To make myself look worthwhile


Aritzia, Michael Kors, Coach,

The latest trends and form fitting clothes

What more must I buy

To make myself look worthwhile


Skipping meals, eating less or eating more

It’s seems like an endless downward spiral of emotion

What more must I do to make myself worthwhile


Whatever you’ve been told

Just ignore,

Put your head up high,

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not enough,

Even yourself, because you are worthwhile

You are wonderfully and fearfully made

Just the way you are

You are worthwhile











Road Blocks on Dreams

When we drive in our car and we plan on where we are going, we don’t expect a road block in our way, or a construction or accident on the road, we expect a smooth sailing drive to our work or home. The tendency when we get stuck on traffic due to unexpected reasons, we tend to get frustrated, upset and even angry at our situation because we want to be on time. If you look at our lives, we all plan on for example going to graduate high school and get into that perfect college that you wanted or on getting that dream job, a girlfriend/boyfriend and a dream house. Let me ask you this, what if it doesn’t go all into your plan? What if you or your loved one gets sick? What if you’re in your mid 20’s and you still don’t have a stable relationship or a permanent job? What if there is a temporary road block in your life and you think that there in no hope in your future? I used to think that way and sometimes dwell on it – in the past I got disappointed at myself, upset and angry at times but when I remember the verse that makes me think that there is  hope and a future. 

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3

These three verses have similarities and these are that each and every person has plans in their life that they want to accomplish but it won’t always be smooth as we want it to be. There will always be road blocks on our dreams, there will be struggles and the plans we have in our life might not always be the best for us but rest assured God’s purpose will prevail, he will capture your heart and make you new and he will improve our character and mold us into who we are created to be.

 One thing I learned within the few years I lived on this earth is that God softens the heart and opens our eyes and shapes our life for the better. He cleanses the heart as we surrender to him. Remember that God has perfect timing and that if you are in that waiting period in your life, always guard your heart and commit to the Lord in whatever you do, seek God first, TRUST in Him and the rest will follow.





You’re Beautiful!

I have seen this movie several times already, and it always touches my heart whenever I watch it. I recommend you watch this, its about Queen Esther and how she became queen. I completely adore Queen Esther and her story of courage and unfading beauty.

I just want to share this verse that is related to Queen Esther and the movie and to all women. I believe each girl out there should always remember this verse.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

1 Peter 3:3-5 

So many women focus on their outward appearance to make themselves attractive but they tend to neglect their inner self and how their character should grow and develop. It should be the other way around. Focus on the inner self- gentle and quiet spirit and the outward beauty will overflow from within. We should try to and start believing that we are beautiful inside and out. Even though it’s hard sometimes to look in the mirror each morning. Deep inside, you are beautiful, adorn yourself with a gentle and quiet spirit like Queen Esther.

In conclusion,

Thank you Lord Jesus for the reminder that I am beautiful first inside and that is more important to focus on the inner beauty than outwardly appearance. Help me to accept what I cannot change with myself and those I can change, help me to strive better and work on myself to become the best version of me. I pray in Jesus name, Amen.



Three stages of Gratitude to God

I still remember when I was young, my parents always taught me to say thank you to someone who gave me something. When I go to bed, my parents would even make me memorize the prayers and then in the end of the prayer, give thanks to God for what he has given me. Now that I think about it, its just good manners to give thanks when somebody gives you something.

It’s like when we are all little children. We give thanks to the things that are present and can be seen. “Thank you, For the… “ That is the first stage of gratitude. This is the preschool stage for saying thanks. For example we thank God for the food that we are about to eat. We thank our parents when they give us things. Basically, we thank someone for what they have given us that is present and that can be seen.

The next stage for saying thanks is when we give thanks for the presence of God. While Moses taught us how to say thanks for the things God has given us. David teaches us to give thanks, in another way which is more advanced than the one before. This can be seen through Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

“Even though…”  For example, even though I am afraid of the unknown things that may happen, I still want to give thanks for the opportunity that was given to me. Even though I am heart broken, thank you for the chance to feel loved by someone. These are just examples of what David taught us, that even though we have struggles and problems and in the midst of all the chaos,we still give thanks and fix our eyes on Jesus. This can be seen further on Psalm 23:5

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 

Psalm 23:5

Lastly, the most advance of giving thanks is Because of…” This can be the most difficult thing to say because it is thanking God for everything in our life. The bad and the good experience that we have, we give all our thanks. For example, I wanna thank you Lord for every ingredient that you have in my life, I know that whatever you make up in my life will be something good overall. This part of gratitude is not as easy as it sounds, because it is thanking the Lord for each and everything he gave or he didn’t we still thank him anyway, we give him our complete TRUST in our lives and believe everything is for the better.

Always remember that All things work for the glory of God and that you do not have to feel grateful to be grateful.



Special thanks to S. Furtick for inspiring me to write this from his video, Graduating in Gratitude.


Still Being Moulded into His Likeness


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I have always been an overweight girl since childhood, and I have only reached my goal weight once when I was eighteen years old, I lost 40 pounds but then gained it back again because of the wrong motive of losing weight. That is in my opinion is the most important thing to consider first when deciding to lose weight. Why do you want to lose weight? Some people do it for the approval of other people and that is not lasting because in the long run your motivation will decline in the end. That’s what happened to me, the thing to always remember and tell yourself that you are doing this for yourself and not for anyone else, because that will have a lasting motivation for losing weight. It’s a lifestyle change and it’s a choice that will change your life.

  • Why do you want to lose weight? The initial motivation is critical, you want to do it for your health? appearance? relationships? you’ll fit in your old clothes again and you’ll look good in photographs. What are the three things that will benefit you from losing weight, picture this and have your vision for 5-10 minutes everyday. Have a vision of your ideal self and visualize yourself when you have gained these goals.
  • Program yourself mentally, it’s going to be a hard journey ahead of you but always say to yourself it’s going to be easier the next day because of the habit that you are building in yourself.
  • Building a habit takes about 30-60 days.
  • The healthy weight loss for a week is 1-2 pounds at most.
  • Try to have a gym buddy or an exercise buddy to go to the gym.
  • Eat more protein and less carbohydrates. Drink a lot of water. More vegetables. Cut out sugars.
  • Don’t expect to have a progress in the first 3 weeks because your body is still getting used to the physical exercise.
  • There will always be an inner struggle when it comes to exercising and dieting, just focus on one day at a time and do not focus on having to exercise in 60 days, just focus on one day.
  • Have a playlist on your phone to take to the gym or when exercising at home. Try to pick some upbeat songs to follow when you are in the treadmill or elliptical trainer. Bring at least one litre of water and finish it all when you exercise to feel refreshed.
  • One thing that I have helped me a lot is to use an app called myfitnesspal, its a free app that counts your calories.
  • It’s a lifestyle change. Commit to it and consistency is the key.

I have been struggling to lose the weight that I have gained back and more, now I weigh 200+ pounds and my goal weight is 150 pounds. As I continue to work on my goal, I know that I am still being moulded inside and out into Christ-likeness and when I have reached my goal I will give all the glory to God!