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The last goodbye

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It was night time, I heard a knock on the door, it was the man next door named John. He was asking my father if he could install his new flatscreen television. I called my dad and he agreed to fix his TV. We invited John inside the house and while waiting, I something in me that I should give John something of mine. I was compelled to go to my room and hurriedly grabbed my extra bible and Heaven is for real DVD movie. I went to go see John and asked him a question,” Do you read a lot of books?” He said, “Yes I do.” with a big smile. Then I handed him the bible and the DVD movie, I told him, “Its for you! Watch the movie too in your new TV.” He said thank you and left to go to his house with my dad.

Little did I know, it was the last time that I will be seeing John along with his smile. Early this year he has been going in and out of the hospital, he was fairly old. John loved his car and his electronics. He loves to fix his house and was a handyman. He liked giving us some of his extra book shelves when we first moved in our home on the year 2011. He hardly gets any visitors, his son-in-law sometimes visits him to do chores but other than that, I heard in Christmas time, he would leave gifts at his children’s place, who have their own family already, and just leave. Early this year 2017, We just heard that he passed away, and after passing away, his leg got cut off because of a gangrene disease.

It’s just so sad that someone who raised and took care after their children, will just pass away just like that, alone.

Life is so complicated and unfair, I feel like I should have been there for him more, but it’s too late now. The lesson that John taught me in life is that, life is short and precious. We should appreciate those in our lives that revolve around us, not just our loved ones but everyone. Let’s be kind to one another, and appreciate the moments that make up our life.  In my eyes, John was a good man and I will never forget him.

 

In memory of John S. Rest in peace. 2017.

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Where do you set your identity?

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Where do you set your identity?

Do you set your identity in…

Career?

Status?

People’s Approval?

Success?

Love?

People would often ask others when they meet for the first time, what do you do for a living? A better question would be why do you do what your doing? People are so into themselves that their work makes them who they are. What happens if you lose your job? Since you’ve set your identity in your work, hopelessness and frustration clouds your mind.

What about your status? Being rich and material possessions can only make you happy momentarily. Money is just a tool and when it revolves around your whole life, what will happen if you cannot afford the luxury and even necessities in life? Your identity will crumble.

People’s approval is a big one, have you heard of the bow wow challenge lately? It’s going viral in Instagram wherein people post lies in the web just for them to get tons of likes and repost. People nowadays always want to please others, wanting them to like them. You cannot please everyone, thats a fact. Though people still seek for affirmation from others, its a good feeling but is it a stable source for your identity? No.

What about success? You’ve got that accomplishment you always wanted. That promotion, that goal, the job you’ve always wanted. What happens when all of that disappears?

Love? What kind of love are you anchoring yourself in? Is it love from your spouse, or partner? Friends? What will happen if that love and relationship becomes non-existent?

Where do we set our identity?

Career? Jesus. I am 100% Yours.

Status? Jesus. Daughter of a King

People’s Approval? Jesus. Approval.

Success? Jesus. Self worth

Love? Jesus. Eternal Love and Joy

 

Read: Matthew 7: 24-27(NIV)

24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

 

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13 Reasons Why (not)

People have been talking about it and suggesting to their friends, some say it’s a good reminder not to do it, but some say its a sensitive topic for others and especially teenagers who are watching it alone. What am I talking about? Its the new TV series produced by Selena Gomez at Netflix called 13 Reasons Why.

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Its about this teenage girl called Hannah Baker who committed suicide and left behind 13 tapes of which explaining why she committed suicide. The plot of the story unravels itself through the life of Clay while he listens to the tapes. 

So back to the title of this blog post, I think that the show is quite sensitive to watch for others who have had their loved ones commit suicide and it is suggesting as well that professionals are not able to handle situations like these based on the show. 

So now I want to make a list of 13 Reasons Why not to commit suicide.

  1. You were born for a reason. You have a purpose in life. Don’t waste the breathe of life that God has given you.
  2. Your family is there to guide and support you! They may be arguing and busy all the time but they mean well. Take your time to grab their attention and have that intimate conversation with your parents. 
  3. Your family loves you very much! Even if you feel like the whole world is against you and even if your friends abandon you…your family will take a stand and will always be there for you. 
  4. Your friends are there for you to confide in, but also be aware that not all your friends will be sincere in listening, some are just what I call acquaintances. Real friends stand beside you no matter what!
  5. You have so much potential and energy in you. Opportunities will arise and if you hate your part-time job right now, find a new one that suits your taste. You have a choice to not feel horrible all the time. Many job prospects are there, just go and look for one.
  6. Love yourself first! Find what interest you and pursue it! Don’t let yourself to conform in the patterns of this world. Be YOU! Be Unique!
  7. Someone you know may feel the same as you! Take that time to empathize with someone and you may even save someones life in the end. Be part of the solution!
  8. Take time to think about the positive aspects in your life! You have a home, a family, you have the education, not all children have that, broaden your perspectives. Be thankful of what you have, not what you don’t.
  9. Life will never be the same without you.
  10. Look at the positives in life. Don’t dwell on the negatives. Life is never easy but it’s worth it.
  11. You are well beyond your teenage years! You are young and beautiful! High school may be horrible right now but persevere and endure, college is almost there. Where everyone will go their separate ways and they won’t even remember your name after they have been busy with their own separate lives.
  12. You are wonderfully and fearfully made.”(Psalm 139) 
  13. God loves You. Yes, you!  God knows everything, He created you to be his masterpiece. God’s wonderful thoughts about you outnumber the grains of sand. Read (Psalm 139) 

Link: Read Psalm 139

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Erase the stigma of mental illness

Let us erase the stigma of mental illness, if you know someone or you yourself is a person struggling with mental illness, with or without diagnosis please call a help line:

KidsHelpPhone.ca – Provides toll-free, 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling to young people in Canada. Ready to talk? 1-800-668-6868

Share this post and you can help erase the stigma of mental illness, make people have an awareness and even SAVE a LIFE!

Facts and Statistics:

“In any given year, 1 in 5 Canadians experiences a mental health or addiction problem.”
“By the time Canadians reach 40 years of age, 1 in 2 have – or have had – a mental illness.”

“Nearly 4,000 Canadians die by suicide each year – an average of almost 11 suicides a day.15 It affects people of all ages and backgrounds.”

“The disease burden of mental illness and addiction in Ontario is 1.5 times higher than all cancers put together and more than 7 times that of all infectious diseases. This includes years lived with less than full function and years lost to early death.

– (CAMH, Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, 2012)

“Mental illness affects people of all ages, educational and income levels, and cultures.”

-(CMHA, Canadian Mental Health Association, 2016)

Continue reading

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The Pursuit of Happiness

My colleague who is an art therapist introduced me to a therapeutic activity that involves knowing more about yourself, your motives and soul searching. Take time to read and answer these questions in your mind before you read ahead. Be honest with yourself while answering these questions, write it down in your notes and you’ll be surprised how your answers repeats itself and you will get to know yourself more through this activity.

Who am I? Why am I here? Why am I living? Am I truly alive? Who cares? What do you live for? What do you really want in life? Is it all about money? School? Work? Family and friends? Are you sure? Then what? You go to school and work and retire? Is that all there is in life? You live and you die? Then what’s next? …

Most people would say, they want happiness and love in their lives. But what makes a person truly happy? Is it love? Then what is true love?

Is it human nature to look for love and always want to feel and know that someone out there truly loves them? Are you wishing someone will notice you and reciprocate your feelings towards them? Someone who is always there for you? Someone who will never fail you and loves you unconditionally?

I realized that there is one answer to all of these questions.

The sign of love is the cross. Jesus humbled himself in the form of a human baby born in a manger. He lived a holy and sinless life submitting himself to the will of the Father. Jesus loves us because he died on the cross for our sins.He hates sin but loves the sinner.He is not mad at us, he is madly in love with us.

Situations with family & friends may arise but I learned that everything happens for a reason and that is to make us a better and stronger person, our character is being developed into christ-likeness. I thank God everyday for I am blessed, I learned to appreciate people, I live in the moment. I have achieved happiness through Christ Jesus and I am who I am, I make mistakes, I still stumble but I refuse to give up. I believe in myself and I want to learn to love others just as Jesus loves me and most importantly, love Jesus with all my heart, soul and mind.

I have always wondered what is happiness, and I have been searching and looking for it even now. I have caught a glimpse of it and it is very awesome indeed. It truly shaped my relationship with my family and friends, career and everything in my life. I want to share my experiences and insights about my life so that people will know it is not impossible to achieve happiness and real joy and that the pursuit of happiness is life changing and precious and is an ongoing process, the pursuit of happiness and love is Jesus.

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An open letter to my future husband

Hello my dear future husband,

There’s a saying that to have someone valuable, you have to be valuable yourself. Why am I saying this? Because as much as I want to meet you right now and get to know you more, I  will wait and let go and let God do his good work in me and he will be faithful to complete it. As much as I want to treasure you right now, I first have to treasure myself. As Queen Esther waited for one year to meet the King, she also waited from birth up to that point where she was discovered as one of the potential Queen. She was trained and prepared and one day, she met the King and they fell in love. So, right now I am still Esther and still being trained and prepared to meet you. So, Let’s trust God because his ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, let’s be patient and trust God in everything that we do.

I have been studying very hard and making sure I do my best in every course that I do, sometimes, I get distracted because my friends are in relationships right now, either married already or engaged, or already with a family and makes me think that what is wrong with me, I too have those days that makes me think that you too have those moments.

I am also focusing on my career path so that one day, it’s not just you that is working but also me, we’ll be able to work side by side in raising our family. I am looking to find a stable job so that as I rely in you, you can also rely in me. I will do my very best that both of us will have the education and skill to be able to raise a family of our own.

Sometimes, as a woman, I also have those days that I feel inadequate, I pray to God that may he send you to me now so you can comfort me through my pain and doubts and I know that you might be thinking the same as me, but I’d like you to know that God is always there for you and he loves you, he created us in his own image, so whatever anyone says, You are beautiful! Yes, you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Of course, I would have said you were handsome but the word beautiful encompass both physical and inner beauty, and whats the inside is what’s most important.

How will you know its me? The love I have for you will be built with friendship and love. I pray that as we both wait and when the time comes that God chooses to put my name on your heart, and your eyes will be is open, and that we will be both ready to meet each other.

Love, your future wife.

 

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My dearest…

Looking up as I saw your face

Wondering what its like to taste

Those moments I treasure

As we grew closer together

Full of smiles and laughter

But one day you were gone

Far away from the place

Far away from me

But I never gave up

One day for sure

We will see each other

Even if you might go away again

One day for sure

We will see each other

Now or Forever

 

 

This poem is dedicated to all those who have someone dear to them, say and show that you love them for you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Thank you to Aunt Connie C. whom I love and inspired me for this poem. RIP Aunt Connie  – Rosette