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The last goodbye

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It was night time, I heard a knock on the door, it was the man next door named John. He was asking my father if he could install his new flatscreen television. I called my dad and he agreed to fix his TV. We invited John inside the house and while waiting, I something in me that I should give John something of mine. I was compelled to go to my room and hurriedly grabbed my extra bible and Heaven is for real DVD movie. I went to go see John and asked him a question,” Do you read a lot of books?” He said, “Yes I do.” with a big smile. Then I handed him the bible and the DVD movie, I told him, “Its for you! Watch the movie too in your new TV.” He said thank you and left to go to his house with my dad.

Little did I know, it was the last time that I will be seeing John along with his smile. Early this year he has been going in and out of the hospital, he was fairly old. John loved his car and his electronics. He loves to fix his house and was a handyman. He liked giving us some of his extra book shelves when we first moved in our home on the year 2011. He hardly gets any visitors, his son-in-law sometimes visits him to do chores but other than that, I heard in Christmas time, he would leave gifts at his children’s place, who have their own family already, and just leave. Early this year 2017, We just heard that he passed away, and after passing away, his leg got cut off because of a gangrene disease.

It’s just so sad that someone who raised and took care after their children, will just pass away just like that, alone.

Life is so complicated and unfair, I feel like I should have been there for him more, but it’s too late now. The lesson that John taught me in life is that, life is short and precious. We should appreciate those in our lives that revolve around us, not just our loved ones but everyone. Let’s be kind to one another, and appreciate the moments that make up our life.  In my eyes, John was a good man and I will never forget him.

 

In memory of John S. Rest in peace. 2017.

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Where do you set your identity?

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Where do you set your identity?

Do you set your identity in…

Career?

Status?

People’s Approval?

Success?

Love?

People would often ask others when they meet for the first time, what do you do for a living? A better question would be why do you do what your doing? People are so into themselves that their work makes them who they are. What happens if you lose your job? Since you’ve set your identity in your work, hopelessness and frustration clouds your mind.

What about your status? Being rich and material possessions can only make you happy momentarily. Money is just a tool and when it revolves around your whole life, what will happen if you cannot afford the luxury and even necessities in life? Your identity will crumble.

People’s approval is a big one, have you heard of the bow wow challenge lately? It’s going viral in Instagram wherein people post lies in the web just for them to get tons of likes and repost. People nowadays always want to please others, wanting them to like them. You cannot please everyone, thats a fact. Though people still seek for affirmation from others, its a good feeling but is it a stable source for your identity? No.

What about success? You’ve got that accomplishment you always wanted. That promotion, that goal, the job you’ve always wanted. What happens when all of that disappears?

Love? What kind of love are you anchoring yourself in? Is it love from your spouse, or partner? Friends? What will happen if that love and relationship becomes non-existent?

Where do we set our identity?

Career? Jesus. I am 100% Yours.

Status? Jesus. Daughter of a King

People’s Approval? Jesus. Approval.

Success? Jesus. Self worth

Love? Jesus. Eternal Love and Joy

 

Read: Matthew 7: 24-27(NIV)

24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

 

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Tree of Life

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Acrylics Painting by: Rosette Ann (May 17,2017)

Psalm 1: 1-3 (NIV)
1 Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

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13 Reasons Why (not)

People have been talking about it and suggesting to their friends, some say it’s a good reminder not to do it, but some say its a sensitive topic for others and especially teenagers who are watching it alone. What am I talking about? Its the new TV series produced by Selena Gomez at Netflix called 13 Reasons Why.

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Its about this teenage girl called Hannah Baker who committed suicide and left behind 13 tapes of which explaining why she committed suicide. The plot of the story unravels itself through the life of Clay while he listens to the tapes. 

So back to the title of this blog post, I think that the show is quite sensitive to watch for others who have had their loved ones commit suicide and it is suggesting as well that professionals are not able to handle situations like these based on the show. 

So now I want to make a list of 13 Reasons Why not to commit suicide.

  1. You were born for a reason. You have a purpose in life. Don’t waste the breathe of life that God has given you.
  2. Your family is there to guide and support you! They may be arguing and busy all the time but they mean well. Take your time to grab their attention and have that intimate conversation with your parents. 
  3. Your family loves you very much! Even if you feel like the whole world is against you and even if your friends abandon you…your family will take a stand and will always be there for you. 
  4. Your friends are there for you to confide in, but also be aware that not all your friends will be sincere in listening, some are just what I call acquaintances. Real friends stand beside you no matter what!
  5. You have so much potential and energy in you. Opportunities will arise and if you hate your part-time job right now, find a new one that suits your taste. You have a choice to not feel horrible all the time. Many job prospects are there, just go and look for one.
  6. Love yourself first! Find what interest you and pursue it! Don’t let yourself to conform in the patterns of this world. Be YOU! Be Unique!
  7. Someone you know may feel the same as you! Take that time to empathize with someone and you may even save someones life in the end. Be part of the solution!
  8. Take time to think about the positive aspects in your life! You have a home, a family, you have the education, not all children have that, broaden your perspectives. Be thankful of what you have, not what you don’t.
  9. Life will never be the same without you.
  10. Look at the positives in life. Don’t dwell on the negatives. Life is never easy but it’s worth it.
  11. You are well beyond your teenage years! You are young and beautiful! High school may be horrible right now but persevere and endure, college is almost there. Where everyone will go their separate ways and they won’t even remember your name after they have been busy with their own separate lives.
  12. You are wonderfully and fearfully made.”(Psalm 139) 
  13. God loves You. Yes, you!  God knows everything, He created you to be his masterpiece. God’s wonderful thoughts about you outnumber the grains of sand. Read (Psalm 139) 

Link: Read Psalm 139

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Erase the stigma of mental illness

Let us erase the stigma of mental illness, if you know someone or you yourself is a person struggling with mental illness, with or without diagnosis please call a help line:

KidsHelpPhone.ca – Provides toll-free, 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling to young people in Canada. Ready to talk? 1-800-668-6868

Share this post and you can help erase the stigma of mental illness, make people have an awareness and even SAVE a LIFE!

Facts and Statistics:

“In any given year, 1 in 5 Canadians experiences a mental health or addiction problem.”
“By the time Canadians reach 40 years of age, 1 in 2 have – or have had – a mental illness.”

“Nearly 4,000 Canadians die by suicide each year – an average of almost 11 suicides a day.15 It affects people of all ages and backgrounds.”

“The disease burden of mental illness and addiction in Ontario is 1.5 times higher than all cancers put together and more than 7 times that of all infectious diseases. This includes years lived with less than full function and years lost to early death.

– (CAMH, Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, 2012)

“Mental illness affects people of all ages, educational and income levels, and cultures.”

-(CMHA, Canadian Mental Health Association, 2016)

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A Vintage Painting

I wake up and go to school and work

Its a never ending cycle

As I lay on my bed, is this it?

I lay on my bed and try to sleep

Days and nights as I lay flat on my pillow

Tears falling like theres no tomorrow

Scars on my heart manifest on my arms

No one knows the void I feel inside

Because all they see is my smile

 

I wake up and go to school and work

Its a never ending cycle

Someone wake me from my deep slumber

Even though I am wide awake

Someone please notice my facade of laughter

Deep through the recess of my heart

I long for someone to muster and know

I don’t want any of your pity mister

All I want is someone to notice

I am broken but not shattered

I don’t need any fixing

Just someone to know my value

Like a vintage painting

People may come and go

Some take notice some ignore

Little did they know

I am a masterpiece

 

 

To those who can relate to this poem, you are not alone and this poem I dedicate to YOU!